Sunday, June 23, 2013

To my daughters

There are times when I just become so inspired that I just begin writing down or finishing a sketch. This one I wrote in March 13, 2013:

I can't choose who your friends will be
I can't demand you to have the same faith as mine
I can't guarantee you a perfect life
I can't make the stars fall down to your feet or
Even let you sleep in the clouds
I can't dictate who you will become when you grow up
I can't choose who will be your enemies
I may not be able to be with you
Every second of your life
But I always think of you
I won't decide for you except for now
Because you still don't know how to decide
But when you do, I will support you with your decisions
But always remember that you will be the one
Who needs to face the consequences of your actions
I can be your guide, your reference about life
But i didn't experience everything
There are some you might learn from other's experiences
Or even from your own
But please don't take the path of learning things
Through painful experiences or
Through the hard way
Your mommy's heart can be as tough as a warrior
But is also as weak as a babt
I can't bear to witness your pains or sufferings
But with God, everything is possible. :)
Always remember that I love you
Since the day I felt your presence in my body.


Everyday I witness miracles. I just look at my daughters in the morning while they're sleeping and I instantly feel God's love right before my very eyes. How they started as 2 lines and how everyday they just keep on growing!

Then I look at my bills and how my husband and I find ways to pay all of them when we're just earning enough. Not to mention all our other daily necessities and emergency expenses we need to include in our budget.

Then I look at my husband and how we're able to work things through despite our differences.

Then I recall my prayers and how they're answered at the most unexpected but definitely the most appropriate time. A job, a car, a stroller, a pair of new shoes...

Then I look at myself in the mirror and just knowing that I'm healthy and alive, that I'm a woman who's born in the time where I can be someone I want to be, that I'm able to experience carrying a human being in my womb not just once but twice and delivering them healthy, that despite all the challenges i am able to stand again...

Everyday I don't just witness miracles but I experience them. And I can only thank God for everything.

Friday, June 14, 2013

For you, Pa!

When I was young, my father always reminds my mother that her daughters need to learn to stand on their own because in time they will have to raise their own families too. We, the daughters, need to learn how to sew, to cook, to wash and iron clothes, to clean the house, to wash the dishes, and a lot more other stuff. He insisted we finish college, earn a degree and get a good job. He wanted us to be ready in life when we need to stand on our own two feet. It's as if quoting Dr. Seuss, "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose." He would always tell us "You're not imbecile! You are educated women. Nobody should ever fool you."

I usually take his words of wisdom for granted. When he and my mother would tell us to be thankful that we're usually given what we wanted, I would answer them that it's just right because it's their duty as parents to me (and to my sisters). Now that I'm a parent too, I wanted to take back all the things I said to them before. They say you only appreciate your parents so much when you become a parent yourself. I think they're right. Now, I'm able to appreciate more the things he says. Ironic it may seem, I think I have a closer relationship with my father now that we're far apart than when I was still living with them. He misses home so much (he's in the US) that's why when he's free he would connect with us through Skype. He loves seeing my daughters when he calls, trying to be the best cyber grandpa he can be. He cyber coos my 1 month baby and asks my 2 year-old daughter to cyber mano to him. I think he's trying to make up for those times he wasn't able to be with us because of his job. And now that he doesn't need to work hard as he had to before, he would like to spend time with the kids even if it's just through Skype.

When it comes to love, I remember him saying through phone, "I'm still your father. As much as possible, I don't want to see my daughters get hurt." He's not a very sentimental kind of person. But I'm saving this to my heart.

Advance happy father's day!